A Normal Story
by Predator7
Summary: No loner, no Nonsense and no bullshit. Just a plain story to balance out my bloodthirst.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello people I'm back.**

 **Don't know how many chapters will be there, I've planned this out till the Summer trip right now.**

 **And No, there is no set pairing here. (No matter what the chapter content is)**

 **This was inspired: Let's just get this over with by foreverHenry919.**

* * *

"So Hikigaya...Why do you have to keep writing this kind of crappy essays?" Hiratsuka Shizuka asked Hikigaya Hachiman who was standing there in front of him cleaning his ears...bored shitless.

"Cause it's my character?" He answered without looking at her.

"No, you're supposed to say 'Looking back on High School..." Hiratsuka started in a matter of factly tone, complete with the finger waving. Then suddenly she stopped as if recounting a fact and then turned to him. "Hold on a tad, Why the hell am I speaking your dialogs?" She said getting angry.

At this Hikigaya takes two steps back and replied "Cause I was too tired to say that"

"Get back here you dipstick!" she shouted angrily and kicked the floor indicating the space next to her desk.

"Come on, You throw a punch me at me at this stage. I'm not taking any chances you old hag...Oops" He said while taking another step back. Sighing, Hiratsuka takes out a cigarette and lit it. Then after taking a drag out of it she puts it next to the ash-tray and then gets up cracking her knuckles.

The following scene is somewhat violent, and I need to stick to the ratings limitations on this story. Thus I will describe the scene with sound alone.

Pachi, gucha, dosun, gan, ban, goh, dosu, gucha...boki, something like that.

And of course, Hikigaya was screaming all this while.

"Stop! Wait, stop! Stoooooop! Ahhhh it hurts! Guheee! Abbah! Gwaaaaargh! No, don't break my finger, please let me g- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

* * *

 **[10 minutes Later]**

"We're here" Hiratsuka said while stopping outside a door in the special building of Sobu High. She was followed by Hikigaya who was...dragging his broken frame after her.

"What's this place?" He asked while massaging his head. Hiratsuka turned back at him.

"Your whole world will change now" She said before grabbing the door handle and was about to slide the door when she stopped. Then she stopped and knocked on the door four times.

After just a few seconds the door automatically opened revealing a startled and shocked girl.

"You...actually...knocked?" She asked gobsmacked and stared at sensei with wide eyes.

"Yo, you're the one who insists on me knocking" Sensei said, then after checking her watch she suddenly exclaimed "Oh shit, you messed up looks like we gotta do it again" Sighing the girl closed the door.

After 15 seconds Hiratsuka barged in, this time without knocking.

"Yo, Yukino-chan what's up?"

"Kno-"

"You can't say that, I did know but you ruined the script."

"Why is Hikigaya Hachiman here?" She asked looking at him.

"You know me?" Hikigaya asked.

"I've spent 2 seasons and 11 volumes with you, of-course I know who you are." Yukino simply sighs at his stupidity.

"You're not supposed to know me right now, have you forgotten the script?"

Yukino recoils and with a sudden remembrance covers her face with her hands.

"Oh dear, I messed up...what should I do?"

Hikigaya sighs and moves near her and pats her head.

"OK, everyone has made too many mistakes. How about we call this a day, I hear there's a new Pan-san movie released today." At this Yukino looks up at his face.

"Hachiman..."

"Hey wait a minute, just what am I supposed to do?" Hiratsuka said while waving her hands above her head.

"Hey just what does the author mean by that?"

 **[AUTHOR ALERT ALL UNITS MOVE ON TO THE NEXT SCENE]**

At the sudden voice, everyone freezes for a second before swinging into action. Hachiman rushes to the back and pulls out a chair while Hiratsuka shuffled out of the room.

A few moments later all is set for the next stage.

"So...what club is this?" Hikigaya asks Yukino who sets a bookmark on the page she was reading before she turned to him.

"I had hoped that you had the knowledge to predict what this club did however since you couldn't predict it up till now, it's no use asking you to guess it." She said while standing up.

"You didn't even give me a chan-"

"Quiet you!" She said sternly and Hikigaya sat straight facing her.

"This is the Service Club, where we help people with their problems."

"We do not give a man a fish but rather teach him how to fish, that is the Service Club's Motto." I didn't ask for that, thought Hikigaya.

"Welcome to the Service Club, I'll solve your problem." She finished with the wind blowing in the middle of the room making the scene even more dramatic.

"Hold on, wasn't the dialog longer." Hikigaya asked standing up from the seat.

"It was but I believed that your Hiki-brain was too undeveloped to understand and comprehend my words, thus I chose to simplify it."

"Can you stop insulting m just this once, I'm tired of hearing your insults for two seasons and 11 volumes and 500 fanfictions." Hikigaya asked annoyed at that.

The breeze that was blowing suddenly swept through the room faster and blowed at Yukino's hair. Yukino smoothed a hand over her hair.

Hikigaya saw her movement in slow motion for some reason and heard the classic strains of an old romantic melody. He moved her hand away from her hair. Yukino looked at him with a look that was a mixture of anticipation and shock.

"No, let me do that." He said breathlessly, a wicked smile on his face, his eyes dark with desire. He moved a loose strand of her Raven black hair back behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered close as his fingers brushed her cheek and...Hiratsuka interrupted them.

"Hey, all the mushy stuff comes later." She said as she shuffled into the room.

"HEY, DID THE AUTHOR JUST WRITE THAT I SHUFFLED INTO THE ROOM!? SHUFFLED!? WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS!?"

"Alright let's all stay calm," Hikigaya said to the enraged Sensei. "Take a deep breath, take in, now release." After a minute of calm breathing with no-one quite sure if it was necessary.

"Are you sure we have to do this?" Hiratsuka asked Hikigaya.

"I think so...I don't remember this scene in anyone else's story."

"Ok, let's start again."

"Yukinoshita you're having trouble changing him?"

"He doesn't know that he has a problem."

"I don't need to change."

"You won't fit in with society."

"Who wants to be part of the Jigsaw when I can stay as an extra?"

"I'll change you."

"I do not fall in to peer pressure."

"Wanna bet?"

"Accepted." "Accepted."

Then they all stood in silence contemplating on what to else to say. Hiratsuka finally broke the awkward silence.

"I think we're done..." Hiratsuka said then looked at her watch. "Oh shoot, I had a date. Yukinoshita give me the key tomorrow." She said before rushing out of the door...leaving thr two behind.

"So," Yukino said and moved closer.

"So," Hikigaya said while moving closer.

"Movies?" She asked to which she smiled.

"Movies it is." She said before packing her bag and locking the door.

"The poor schnooks reading this story, probably expected us to kiss, pet, make-out or something." Yukino said as they picked up his Cycle near the stands.

Hikigaya laughed as she got on the back of the Cycle "Or something perverted happens and we end up making love in the Sevice club on the Table."

They both were uncomfortably silent for a moment before they burst into loud laughter.

"Fat chance of that" Yukino guffawed.

"Oh absolutely," Hikigaya bellowed before he started peddling and Yukino held on to him.

They both laughed hysterically as they commuted their way to the Theatre to see, "Pan-San and the Devil", a highly acclaimed animation film they'd heard.

* * *

 **Wow, I actually did it!**

 **Well thi was to balance out my sanity...reason will be out soon.**

 **Can't believe this came out.**

 **Well as I've said, No set Pairing in this story.**

 **See you in my other stories.**

 **Good Onya mates!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo guys here is Chapter 2 of A Normal story. (Isn't that obvious you dolt?)**

 **Well this chapter is all due to LyingHiki and zEnKo helping me out of the huge abyss that I had fallen into.**

 **And before we begin I would like to say something.**

 **Basically this chapter is totally bullshit just to balance my blood thirst after the explosive-ish stuff that happened in my last story.**

… **..Read the story at the risk to your own sanity.**

 **And guys... the LN had been delayed but please keep the fraction wars to a minimum.**

 **I request you guys.**

* * *

Hikigaya slid the door open and in front of him was, as always sitting the epitome of perfection.

"Yo." He said in his usual lazy way.

"Hello." Yukinoshita replied without even turning towards him. He looked at her for a moment.

"Are you all right? You looked fine yesterday, any problems?"

"You, You are the problem. Why have you come back?" She asked in a cold voice which sent shivers down his spine.

"Woah, calm down demon superwoman, you were pretty happy yesterday when you were watching the Pan-san movie so what happened." As he said this Yukinoshita face palmed and gave him a look that said, 'Are you an idiot?'

"Have you forgotten?"

"Oh shit sorry I forgot, Happy Aniver- Ahhh," Hikigaya tried to correct whatever crime he did but was cut off by a quick punch to the stomach by a red-faced Yukino.

"What are you saying you idiot? Have you forgotten your role?" She said while trying to cover her blushing face. Hikigaya looked back at her with a look that said, "What?"

"The author is continuing the story, so we're back at square one." She said while going back towards her seat.

"Technically part 3-2 from the LN. I skipped sensei dragging me to this club and the part where you decline to be my friend."

"And for good reason." Yukino fired back and instead of replying they simply stared at each other before they had to look away from embarrassment.

"Yukinoshia I..."

* * *

 **AUTHOR NOTICE**

 **GET ON WITH THE SCENE WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME...AND BATTERY.**

* * *

"This guy..." "How did I end up here." Yukinoshita and Hikigaya said while sighing. Hikigaya takes a seat from the back and placing it a tad away from Yukinoshita sits down and looks at his watch.

"Right...about...now." Just as he says these words a knock is heard on the door and in comes a Yuigahama.

"Yahallo Yukino." She cheerfully says and moved in towards the seat next to Yukino...

"Hey wait a minute didn't you get the script Yui?" Hikki suddenly says as she moves into the room.

"Oh Hikki is here too, Where were you. I was waiting for you?" Yui said while pouting.

"Yui-san, due to some person asking us for some of our time we have to take part in this skit." Yukino said while massaging her forehead.

"Skit? More like a ridiculous version of the Anime." Hikigaya said.

"Alright let's calm down and not throw the author's confidence into the void, let's start again." Yukino said while taking a deep breath.

"So what have you come here for Yuigahama-san?" Yuigahama just stared at her.

"Did Watari-sama sell the story?" She asked clasping her hands over her chest and looked at them with a lost look.

"Why would he do that? This is just on loan by this shitty author, now say your dialogs." Yukino scolded her.

"Ok….i would like your guys help to make…."

"Cookies?" Yukino asked.

"I'm out, Yukinoshita she's all yours." Hikigaya said while leaning back on his seat.

"Why are you handing me over to her, you're the one who cant resist to help people," She fired back.

"Says the one who open a service clu- What?" Hikigaya was about to reply but shut his mouth after seeing Yui's angry face.

"Let me complete!" She yelled and both of them shut their traps.

"I need your help making some drinks." She declared.

"Huh?" "Huh?"

* * *

 **[MASTERCHEF LOOKALIKE KITCHEN INSIDE SOBU]**

"What kind of drinks Yuigahama-san?" Yukino asked while looking around the almost empty kitchen while wearing an apron.

….over her School uniform you dolts.

"Umm there was a specific recipe about some drink that I…." Yui said while glancing at Hikigaya and fiddling with her apron.

She suddenly dragged Yukino to a corner before whispering something to her and suddenly both of them looked back at Hikigaya who was Yawning.

"I guess this might take a while," Yukino said while taking out a paper and pen from somewhere and wrote down something on it before handing it to Hikigaya.

"Get these will you."

Hikigaya looked at the paper before raising an eyebrow.

Ingredients-

Orange Juice X 2

Strawberry Juice X 2

"What are you planning?"

"Nothing, we're going to be busy. You are going to be completely useless in this task so I want you to bring refreshment for us. Now GO!" She said before forcing Hikigaya out of the MasterChef Look-alike kitchen….which was the home Economics room.

"Oh well…." Hikigaya shook his head and walked off.

"Oh that reminds me, she must be free right now. Might as chat with her to kill some time." He said before walking in the opposite direction from where he was ordered to go.

"Well let's get started shall we?" Yukino asked Yui who had gotten several items from her bag.

"Yes, let's finally do it."

* * *

 **[20 long Minutes later]**

"Where is that Hikigaya let me get his hands on him." Yukino said as she grinded her teeth as she waited in Ambush next to the door.

Then suddenly voices were heard from outside the door.

"Well see you later, bye Hachiman." A female voice sounded and the door opened and a Hikigaya with a silly look on his face walked in.

"Hey…where are those two?" he said as he walked unsuspectingly into the trap.

Suddenly as he stepped into the room the door closed behind him and on both sides of the door were the two YY's.

" _ **You're back?" "So soon?"**_ They said in a tone which made Hikigaya shiver in fear.

You took you own sweet time so we got drinks for ourselves. She said before moving towards the Table where they had been working on.

"So can I go now?"

"Well we're planning to make Hiratsuka-sensei taste the drink so you should come too," Yuigahama said before shoving a can of Max Coffee at him.

"Here Yukino got this for you." Hikigaya looked at the can and then looked at Yukino who was currently facing away from him.

"Thanks Ice Queen." He muttered before chugging down the entire can in one go…

'The Can was already open….strange' Hikigaya thought before he looked at Yukino again and this time Yui was standing near her giving her the Juice cans….which had ended up in her hands somehow. Yukio accepted the can and then sat on a seat with a notebook and pen and looked at Hikigaya earnestly.

"Expecting a Thanks? You have my gratitude for the MAX" He said before tossing the can into a dustbin.

"So," He asked, "Where's the Drink that our Yui made?" He asked Yukino who looked at him.

"You just drank it," She smiled and then noted something down on the notebook.

"What do yo-" Hikigaya tried to say something before he felt extrmly fatigued and suddenly saw his hands shaking.

"What is happening?" He asked as he started waving his hands around while moving erratically.

"We're seeing the first phase in action." She said before gulping her Orange juice.

"Yukino is he going to be fine," Yui asked while also watching the happening curiously.

"Well…..I don't know to be honest." She said calming.

"But what if he dies?"

"Well the author will most possibly revive him again." She replied as they watched Hikigaya flop around the floor like a fish at the bottom of a Tuna-Boat.

Then suddenly Hikigaya stopped moving and stood straight.

"Looks like Phase 2 has started." Yukino said while moving towards Hikigaya.

"Here hikigaya-kun catch," Yukino said before tossing her can to Hikigaya who without moving from his spot caught the Can.

"Looks like it is a success Yukino," Yui said while exploring Hikigaya from different angles.

"There is one more thing that I want to try,"

"Hikigaya tell me…how many marks did you get in the last maths test?"

"Less that you Yukinoshita" Hikigaya replied in a mechanical voice.

"Call me Yukinoshita-sama and her Yuigahama-sama." Yukino said now enjoying herself.

"Yes, Yukinoshita-sama,"

"Hikki who is the most beautiful person in this room?" Yui asked.

"The two of you Yuigahama-sama,"

"And what might you be Hikigaya?"

"The lowest of the low, the most rotten person in the world." Both the girls laughed at this.

"Then Hikki who do you like me or Yukino?" Yui asked and then suddenly the laughs stopped and Yuigahama and Yukino looked at each other….their expressions twitching.

"Yui-san…may I know what you asked?"

"I think you heard it clearly Yukino-san."

They glared at each other before suddenly turning towards Hikigaya who gave them blank looks.

"WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER?" "ANSWER NOW YOU INSOLENT MONGREL!"

He didn't say anything but kept quiet.

"Suddenly Yukino grabbed his collar and asked again, "Who is that you like more Yukinoshita Yukino or Yuigahama Yui, ANSWER ME NOW!."

"Y…"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"Y…."

""SPEAK CLEARLY!"" They both yelled.

"YOUTH IS A LIE!" Hikigaya yelled and the room descended into silence. Yui stared at him in silence before the sound the grinding teeth was heard.

"You idiot…" Yukino said with her head bowed and her eyes hidden under her bangs.

"YOU IDIOT!" She yelled before doing a crazy video game move and using his own body threw Hikigaya at the wall while broke through sending Hikigaya straight down to the ground leaving behind a cookie-cutter type cartoonish hole in the wall.

"That Idiot," Yukino said.

Suddenly a flash of thunder happened inside the room and a weird circular window appeared. Then suddenly a man jumped from inside of it followed by another man both of them were wearing...Si-Fi…

…Hi-Fi –Si…

..FI-HI-SPY…

…Spy—Screw this…

….Hi-fi-Si-fi yeah that correct, dressed and the second man wielded a strange gun.

The first man suddenly rushed towards the broken wall where a human shaped hole was visible.

"NO!" h

e yelled.

"Man, now this sucks." The second man said as he checked a watch.

"Yu…ki..no! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" the man yelled while metaphorically tearing his hairs out.

"Who are you?"

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO GO VIOLENT ON HIM? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT WILL COST ME?"

"HUH?"

"Let me put it this way, this dude promised Watari that he wouldn't have violence in this story….and you can see what happened…"

"What does he mean about the cost?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW? EVERY TIME SOMEONE WRITE A FANFICTION HE HAS TO GIVE A TRIBUTE TO THE AUTHOR AND IN CASE HE MAKES ANY CHANGES HE HAS TO INCREASE THE TRIBUTE,"

"That's partially the reason that author tend to update slowly. That is due to them thinking 'How much will it cost to change this?' 'Hmm, yeah this ship should cost me a few dollars…Hmmm', So do you now understand the situation."

"I see, so breaking the window will have a direct effect in his pocket?"

"Yeah, and with the stuff that he's been doing he's pretty deep."

"Fufufufu, let this be known that I have pretty good backers. I can do whatever I want."

"Which can be translated to as 'I'm a master at running away.'"

"Hey shut up….hey Mind helping me out, I'll save a good spot for you."

"Very well, I have a charitable heart. I'll pay the fine."

"Oh thank you Yukino, I promise that I'll finish Saviour as soon as I can….Oops" The man suddenly shut his mouth seeing Yukino's face.

She slowly started walking towards him and then as the man turned to hurry he felt his hand being grabbed. He turned with a expression of fear to look at a brightly smiling Yukino.

Seconds later he was tossed in the air and like a popular cartoon move was slammed into the floor before being tossed again and slammed into the floor again.

It was the classic Dhobi-Ghat move.

The second man just watched his companion's fate silently before opening the drink that Yui offered him and sat down on a stool intending to wait this…incident out.

* * *

"Just how the hell did I end up here?" Hikigaya thought as he brushed the dirt out of his head.

"Oh you ended up here too?" Hikigaya suddenly heard a familiar voice and looked towards his left and saw Hayama Hayato next to him….who was in the same state as him with the addition to a swollen face.

"How did you end up here?"

"Oh...well Iroha-chan suddenly called me to the roof and then before she could say something Yumiko suddenly came and then they started fighting. I tried to stop them and all I last remember was their fists impacting my face."

"Man, you suck."

"You're one to talk." Hayama leaned back on the wall and then looked at the evening sky.

"Looks like we've never really fallen in love have we?"

"This idiot, why are you saying these thing?"

"Well Hikigaya I'm famished, care for a drink?" Hayama said while standing up.

"I know a great place just down the corner, there's food and drinks, care to join me." He said while extending a hand to Hikigaya.

However Hikigaya said "The Zone" activating and backed off a bit.

"No thanks I'll pass,"

"Come on it'll just be the two of us, let's have some fun." Hayama said while closing his eyes for a second for a dramatic pose before opening them again and saw Hikigaya sprinting away at the speed rivalling that of a JSDF lieutenant carrying three girls.

"Sorry I'm straight, and I prefer flat." Hikigaya yelled back as he leapt onto the wall and using a parkour move crossed over the wall in an instant.

"WAIT I DON'T MEAN IT LIKE TH…wait Flat?"

* * *

 **YEAH, CLASS 1 GRADE A BULLSHIT CHAPTER.**

… **Unfortunately for you guys….we got bored and me and the rest of my Devil dogs blew the rest of the explosive-ish stuff up.**

 **Check out "100 TONNES OF EXPLOSIVES" on Youtube to get an idea of what happened.**

 **Oh yeah, keep and eye out for My Gamer story. I'm going to update that very soon enough.**

 **-Good Onya Mates!**

 **P.S- ANY GUESSES WHO THAT GIRL WAS?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alternate Storyline**

* * *

Hikigaya Hachiman's day starts at 5:00 when the Alarm goes off.

But before the alarm can go off, he presses the snooze button and turns around and then gazes at the person lying next to him.

Yukinoshita Yukino.

Or rather...Hikigaya Yukino.

Ever since that day, when Hiratsuka Sensei dragged him into the service club and he met Yukinoshita Yukino for the first time, he has never gotten tired of seeing her face.

Well who wouldn't want to see a beautiful scene just as he wakes up...?

And Yukino's beauty could be easily compared to any celestial beauty.

And then the person being talking about just opened her eyes.

A pair of Icy Blue eyes met with a pair of Dead fish eyes.

The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. The staring contest ended when Yukino closed her eyes and then snuggled into his chest.

"Morning Yukino," Hachiman said lazily.

"Mmmm," Yukino muttered while groggily raising her head, "Morning Hachiman,"

"Why don't you stay in bed a little more...?" Hachiman asked tenderly. He knew that being in her position meant a lot of pressure.

And as she was a stubborn person, she would definitely try to shoulder it on her shoulders like that time during the Cultural festival. Thankfully, this was not High School and he was always ready to take off any load.

"I can't because otherwise I'll get infected by your Hikigerms," Yukino said while stretching her limbs. Just as she was about to get out, Hikigaya pulled her back into his embrace.

"Oh...? Doesn't having Hikigaya in your name mean that you're already infected with it...?" He said and captured her lips.

Yukino didn't resist but rather threw herself into the kiss. They stayed like that for a few minutes till they separated due to lack of breath.

"I think I can," She said while slowly mounting him and sealed his lips with hers.

* * *

 **To be continued...**

 _ **P.s- Don't trust this idiot, he was too lazy to continue SMH and decided to throw is a half finished script.**_

 _ **Please tell this git not to put in half-assed ideas.**_


End file.
